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Disco, blood, bath.
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[Error: unknown template qotd]We by Yevgeny Zamyatin, translated by Mirra Ginsburg. Pretty much any sentence you can find in that entire book is a brilliant quote. Here's one of them:

"A human being is like a novel: until the last page you don't know how it will end."

(And the next: "Or it wouldn't be worth reading.")
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A) Most Dangerous Game.
B) Waiting for all the idiots thinking they're playing Survivor to eat it.
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So many ways!
1. I don't torture my friends by being skinnier than them.
2. I no longer have imaginary fights with an imaginary boyfriend that I'd subject my friends to long, extremely real, and extremely melodramatic conversations about.
3. I hardly ever kick my mom in the face anymore.
4. I don't rub glitter gel down my cleavage.
5. I don't get out of tests by telling teachers I'm being treated for STDs.
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Well, today I glared at a creepy guy drinking a beer on the bus. See, I'm a philanthropist.
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Okay, I think my answers to this perennial question need an update. Because really, I don't want to take my all-time-top-five-desert-island books *to* a desert island. If I could only read five books for the rest of my life, they wouldn't be the five best books I've ever read, or even my five favorite books. They'd be the ones that I knew I could reread countless times, and keep finding new meaning in. And they'd be REALLY LONG.

1. In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust.
2. The King James Bible by James I. (Kidding about the author! Don't take my English major membership card away! Yeah, it looks like a Costco card, but it actually *costs* you money.)
3. The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon.
4. The collected works of Dorothy Parker.
5. Ulysses by James Joyce.
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R. Daneel Olivaw.

Kind of a tough call, but seeing as everyone else is answering "Daleks," "Bender," "Marvin," or, heaven help us, "WALL-E," I figured I'd stand by my first robot love. Although the way I phrased that reminds me that "Silver" would be a fine choice as well.
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I'm sorry, I can't even say anything snarky about this.
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I'd create a holiday that involved not eating, drinking, bathing, or having fun for 24 hours; a lot of dreary prayers in crowded rooms; and worrying over whether your name's been inscribed in the Book of Life for the following year.

Oh wait.

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