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So, I torrented an awesome indie rock compilation. Here are some winsome videos of my favorites:

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At [personal profile] mousetrout 's suggestion, I've been trying Daily Lit, and receiving a chapter a day from various books in my inbox. I decided to try a good variety: a "modern memoirs" compilation of first chapters from various confessionals, Shakespeare's sonnets (which are just short enough that they make perfect between-paragraphs-at-work reading), and a Hans Christian Andersen fairytale anthology. So, this is the story I got this morning, and then I want to discuss it a little bit. Cut for length at first, perhaps content a little bit later.

Wasn't this a lady of real delicacy? )

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So, in my new "posting what I want and don't care who defriends me over it" spirit, here's something I came up with today on instant messenger.

J's Rules for Avoiding Lesbian Bed Death:
  1. Stop bonding over food.
  2. Actually be attracted to girls, not just lonely and bitter.
  3. Sex != politics.
  4. No one wants to top all the time.
  5. If what defines your queer identity involves rainbows, you're doing it wrong.

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Two Cs in a K

i burned your

cookies and made

your cake


after I scrubbed

myself with a

Brillo pad and


i licked your

toilet bowl until

it seemed perfectly


on hands and

knees like

a nude maid, i await your

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Let me tell you a story. It's the kind of story you folks like so much
you had to import it.
But it's in your language, and it'll make you feel good about
these troubling times in Rome.
Wars, and a long-suffering but ultimately triumphant hero.
My hero was driven by fate and the gods.
first coming to Italy from the coasts of Troy. He came
to Lavinia's shores after being tossed throughout land and sea,
buffeted by one goddess in particular.
Maybe this story's more about Juno, angry
angry Juno, who never forgets a grudge.
Well, our hero suffered many other things in war, then finally
he built a city, he brought his Trojan gods, snatched back from the
greedy Greeks, to Latium, and from this small beginning,
he built the Latin race, its Alban fathers, and the still-
towering walls of still-lofty Rome. Oh, fine, it's not
my story. I'm asking a muse to tell me -
just like Homer asked a muse to tell him! Blame the muses
for plagiarism already! -
the cause of Juno's anger,
her grief, why a queen of the gods would make such a heroic man
endure such calamities, undergo so many hardships?
Oh, let me explain to you the great wrath that ensnares heavenly minds.
It'll take me a while. But don't worry, there's lots of sex and violence.
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There's no feeling better than finishing a story. Even if I feel as though this story got away from me, a bit. Get closer to your narrator's consciousness, my writing teacher kept exhorting me last semester. This time, I think I almost drowned in it. It frightens me a little. I can't tell if it's really good or really bad or if it'll get workshopped to shreds. But still, finishing it feels wonderful. Your feedback (even as simple as "I read it;" "I enjoyed it;" "I didn't enjoy it") is welcome. And, for those of you who perhaps don't remember from where I got the plot, I'd be curious to see if anyone picks up on it, or if it matters. Sorry that the paragraphs lost their indent and that the cut is being stupid.

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On Broadway during rush hour this morning, a monarch butterfly darted in front of an oncoming SUV. It plummeted, then erratically climbed, then flew away unscathed, towards a flower shop.

Although Faith No More's cover of "War Pigs" is one of my favorite covers ever (the moment when Mike Patton apparently forgets the lyrics and substitutes an oddly Ozzy-esque mumble is especially inspired), I'll grudgingly admit that I just heard the Cake one on the radio, and it's kind of awesome.

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Although my last post on this topic didn't exactly get a plethora of reader response, I'm just going to soldier on. Top five! I am interpreting "music video" rather liberally here, otherwise I'd just never be able to choose.

5. Tool, "Stinkfist"

I love Tool videos. They remind me of Giger, Pan's Labyrinth, and my own fucked-up dreams. Although it was hard to pick a favorite, this one edged out other awesome ones such as "Prison Sex," "Sober," and "Aenema," because it embodies geek love. Not the kind you find on the sad, sad TWOP CSI forums. Haha. I would also like to note that a hobby of mine is reading "song meanings" boards. There is a rather hilarious debate as to whether this song is literally about fisting. My humble opinion is that it's about desensitization, but really, what's a more vivid metaphor for that THAN fisting?

4. Pink Floyd, "The Wall"

Of course it counts! Also, I really miss the Floyd laser light show at Flandreau. That is all.

3. The credits sequence for "The Stand" miniseries, featuring "Don't Fear the Reaper"

Best moment in soundtrack history. Did you know that Stephen King actually bought his own radio station that only played songs he liked? This was back in the pre-iPod days, obviously. But apparently it's still going strong.

2. Android Lust, "Stained"

Someday, Shikhee, you will be mine. My favorite song of hers is "Kingdom of One," if you're interested in hearing more - I don't really understand why Android Lust hasn't been more successful.

1. Kate Bush, "Wuthering Heights"

This was a tough one, obviously. I was tempted to chose a Sesame Street video. Or maybe that really hot Tori Amos one, when, as a "straight" friend once commented with googly eyes, she licks her own knee. But really, my heart belongs to this video. It's just so weird. I love how artless her dancing is - if you want to call it dancing. Perhaps the correct term would be "semaphore." This is one of my all-time favorite songs (literary references! and the particular book, don't even get me started, swoon!), although this particular version has butchered the original vocals. Both Angra and the Decemberists do really interesting covers. Without further ado:

Honorable mentions: most of the bands had other videos I wanted to pick, especially Radiohead. Also, for the movie soundtracks ones, "Ziggy Stardust," "Requiem for a Dream," "Go," and "Yellow Submarine" were some stiff competition, tell you what.
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Everyone makes lists of their favorite things. Books, movies, songs, ho hum. How videos! Before we begin, I am going to note that my favorite literary genre is transgressive fiction. So that should tell you something about the disturbing nature of a lot of these embeds, if you choose to play them. I'm not going to write elaborate warnings for them, view at your own risk.

10. Nine Inch Nails, "Happiness in Slavery."

Although there are better NIN videos in terms of cinematography ("Perfect Drug"), music (most of them), and hotness ("Sin"!), you really can't beat the sentiment expressed by this one.

9. Peaches, "Fuck the Pain Away."

Sick, wrong, retro, and hilarious! What's not to like? (Did you know she used to be a teacher?)

8. Lauryn Hill, "Everything is Everything."

This makes a lot of people's favorite music video lists. Well, with good reason!

7. Radiohead, "Rabbit in Your Headlights."

What does it mean? What doesn't it mean?

6. CSS, "Music is My Hot Hot Sex"

Again, a case where they've done far better videos, but there's just something so eighties and bizarre about this one. Maybe it's how UNhot Lovefoxxx manages to be? She's tired of being sexy!

5. Peter Gabriel, "Steam."

Guh...wha? I hear you say. Well, this video holds a special place in my heart, because it's the first music video I ever saw. I was forbidden to watch TV as a child (which obviously helped keep me on the straight and narrow later in life, right?), but this was on a video of computer animation that we got from the library. It was, er, cutting edge. (Actually, as I was finding it on Youtube just now, I was impressed by how well it held up.)

Stay tuned for the top five!

P.S. If you want me to add you to my friends list, or re-add you, feel free to comment or email me, kay? I feel a little bad about the purge I just did, but it had to be done.
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I think I'm going to start a new diet: the Whimsy Diet. Any foods are fair game, as long as they are cute, hilarious, bizarre, or fanciful. For example: cereal straws, baby food, starfruit, green catsup, alphabet soup that spells curse words, things that are arranged to create pictures on one's plate, themes like "flat food," "circular food," "green food," and so forth, foods with names that are fun to say, or hard to pronounce, or both, and anything that's a "____ surprise."

Oh, and dude! I totally fixed my bike all by myself! And rode 2.6 miles to the library (well, the second 1.3 miles is still a bit hypothetical)! My traineo exercise chart like, skyrocketed from all the aerobic goodness. Also, I didn't have to pay nothin' for gas!
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I really need to get a camera. There's this billboard all over town for some cut-rate car insurance outfit. There's a friendly-looking brunette smiling as she holds the phone. I'm going to paraphrase the text - the important part is a direct quote, but I can't remember the whole thing. "Money troubles getting you down?" it says at the top, in larger print than the rest. "We can help. Call me," it says in the middle, across from the picture of the phone-lady. Then at the bottom is their logo.

Now, the part that perplexes me is "We can help. Call me." Why does it change from plural to singular? I mean, I guess it implies that if you call, you'll be speaking to this paragon of customer service efficiency, someone who really understands your money problems. But why not say "I can help"? Or "Call us"?

I know a common advertising technique is using a deliberate misspelling or grammar error to call attention (conscious or otherwise) to their message. Is confusing first person singular and first person plural one of those things subtle enough to register as "this is wrong, but I can't quite put my figure on it, so I'd better pay extra attention to it"? If so, why is this the first example I've noticed?

p.s. Interview went well! Dun dun dun...
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Bad news: my iBook's logic board is going - the screen isn't going black because there's something wrong with the display, but because the graphics card is bad; the graphics card is built into the logic board.

Good news: the display is still fine, meaning I can get a few hundred if I sell it for parts on eBay. (If I have to type another word with second-letter caps I'm going to scream.) According to the Apple store guy, all the laptop displays are compatible with each other, so there's a big market for those (plus the other parts, like the airport card and hard disk and whatnot). 

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Books I'm having trouble finishing:
1. The Amber Spyglass. (What can I say, epic battle scenes, fucking yawn. I want more literary allusions, liminal alternate-history factoids, and bizarre character interactions, damn it!)
2. Perdido Street Station. (No, really, it's GREAT. I just kind of don't want it to end.)
3. No god but God. (A history of Islam. Interesting, but I just watched a documentary about it too, so I'm a little Islamed out. Also, and this is going to sound CRAZY, but its spine is broken, and I hate reading books with broken spines.)

Books I'm really excited about starting:
1. Towelhead.
2. The Road. (Yeah, I can't believe I haven't read it yet either.)
3. The Jane Austen Book Club.
4. Delta Wedding. (I've only read Eudora Welty's short stories.)

And on the movie front, I totally got Heathers from the library! Also documentaries about the Lascaux cave paintings and the Jewish Americans, and the All Roads Film Festival collection. Also, a movie with Javier Bardem that looks really depressing. Hmm...depressing...vs. Javier Bardem...maybe I should just rent Life in the Time of Cholera? That would be depressing in an entirely different way.

TV-wise, I still haven't brought myself to watch the last episode of Lost. Okay, but, this is the first time a character I actually like has died! (Damn your driving under the influence, Daniel Dae Kim!) I'm afraid I'll break down sobbing at the public library. Or not. Maybe I just don't want to sit in front of the computer at the library for two hours being subjected to Jimmy Kimmel commercials. (Yeah, my computer can neither handle streaming video, nor torrent, so...) Anyway, I also watched the second season of Veronica Mars (not nearly as good as the first, but still pretty awesome), and I got the first season of Rome (from the public library, surprisingly enough! I hope they plan on acquiring more HBO shows soon. And, uh, FX maybe? Not that I, er, love Christian Troy?).

And finally, I've been listening to...well, that's easy, just look at the "current music" and titles of my entries, right?


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